to be honest, i’m usually pretty tolerant when people whom i’ve told slip up, or if people that don’t know refer to me with my real name/as a female. it only really bothers me when i’m pointed out specifically for something feminine, such as a friend remarking “but you’re a chick” or “only girls like that”, etc. most of the friends i talk to have adopted to calling me jay, and i really really appreciate that from all of them. it really means a lot.
i don’t think anyone has ever refused to call me jay, and nobody deliberately refers to me by my real name/a female out of spite, so that’s good.