January 2011
45 posts
Speaking of work
I almost didn’t come to work today.
I walk up to my moms door step with the kid and right before I knock I can hear someone speaking in a loud voice.
I knock, she opens it, I hesitate. “Come in” she barks. I grab the kid and walk in. “Are yall fighting” I bluntly ask. She says “no” he says “yes” she says “its fine”. “Well I...
Work
Can really kiss my ass.
Ps. I should really stop saying that because, although I say “i have a plan” for if I were to get fired, I’m sure I will be completely devastated and a little worried. God will take all my negativity about my job, assume I REALLY don’t want it and take it away.
OMG
:0
He freaking called again!!!!!!! :D
him: I’m at the mall with (listed a bunch of cousins). You still want me to come over tonight and then go shopping with yall tomorrow.
me: yea, if you want to.
him: I said I did. I’ll be there tonight, I’ll have DT drop me off. I’ll hit you up later.
:))))))
pleasedontletmedown
pleasedontletmedown
pleasedontletmedown
...
ladyofleisuredc asked: Fingers completely crossed for you two!
Money burns holes
It really does. All in my pocket. I don’t know how to act when its there. I spend like a mad women.
I got a little extra dough the other day. Loaned dough, bad I know. It’s mostly to cover bills; car, insurance ect, but there will be leftover dough and I already know where I’m going to spend it. Sad I know. But oh so true. Here’s some of the list:
Futon (I can’t...
Mom and Dad Date Night.
I have to admit, he made my heart flutter last night.
Let’s start with the first reason; he actually called. He called to see where his son would be tomorrow and how he could go about seeing him. I told him he’d be at my moms and that he could come and see him when we made it home at the end of the day. He agreed.
I also told him that me and the little man will be going shopping...
Abdominal Cramps
I’m really thinking (hoping, praying) that it’s just has bubbles. (And I can’t break wind at work) But this has been going on for a few days now. Hopefully it isn’t anything else…
We are not together.
That’s what he doesn’t understand. As bad as I want him to be apart of our lives he is not showing signs that he is ready and so I won’t let us get there.
Yes, I told him that I miss him but I also made it a point to tell him that we are not together. His actions don’t show the things that he says and so we are not together. He wasn’t having it. Told me we were and...
What is wrong with me.
I keep thinking about him. About the him I want him to the be. About the him I need him to be. About the him I wish soo badly he would turn into.
I’m mostly likely going to run into him at his moms house tonight and all I can think about is pulling him to the side and telling him how I feel. Giving it one last shot. One last try at changing his mind. I know it won’t work. I know that...
Dreams
Last night, I dreamt about my ex. We were getting married and everyone was there. Even his niece and nephew which tells me that this dream was speaking to me in present tense, not past. (They are only 1 year olds) The weird thing is, I didn’t tell my mom until like the day before that we were getting married so her and I were running around like crazy people trying to find a dress.
To me,...
Missing the times
I’m really not going to lie. I really miss this. I miss us. Happy us. Like really really bad. This was before we even found out I was pregnant. We spent time together. Did things, it was great. Now, I guess he just doesn’t want to. I think he has changed. Or maybe I have changed. Either way. I really really miss this!
I do and always will love you. always.
Us Plus One.: Hate is such a strong word but feels... →
usplusone:
This is directed to the people who are rude & inconsiderate, careless, unthankful, judgmental and selfish. The people who don’t understand, who assume too much and who must have everything their way. The people who must point fingers, declare my wrongs and think they’re the only one that has…
Paging baby daddy. Come in baby daddy.
This fool better call me asap! I need diapers.
I’ll also make it a point to warn him (once again. I’m too damn nice) that if he doesn’t step up to the plate, come the middle of Feb, he will be on child support.
What exactly is it that I want him to do? Share in the responsibilities of his child. I’d like him to buy diapers and clothes and necessities or pay for...
At work
And all I want to do is nothing. Im already in “trouble” for doing nothing but that’s seriously all I want to do.
(Did I ever tell you that I’ve already come up with a plan for if I were to get fired -God forbid…… I guess. I would TOTALLY collect unemployment for as long as I could and get on every government assistance available. Then I would go to school,...
Random people: Anger →
random-people:
“I hate you!” She is about fifteen years old. Her hair is dyed black and she is wearing a lot of eyeliner. The man she hates is her father, he is walking next to her. Does she really hate him or does she just say that to make him sad? What has he done to deserve her anger? Maybe he hasn’t done…
Just popping up
I can’t stand when people just pop up at my door unexpected, you could have at least called.
But when baby daddy did it last night, I was fumming mad. His mom TOLD me this would happen. It happened to her. They think that since you have their kid and all they can just come up out of no where all at the front door.
I don’t think so. I asked him repeatidly when he was leaving, why did...
Over whelming
There is soooo much to this! I’m not too sure I can deal.
A little custody/child support knowledge
I thought about making it a court order for him to see his son. Then I read this: If one parent has soul custody then the other parent must pay the child support. If both parents have joint custody then the parent with the most income must pay the other parent child support.
He doesn’t care to see his son anyway, hasn’t really seen him in a week and a half soooooo I’ll take full...
I did not do this on my own.
I think I have to prove to him how serious I am about him being apart of his son’s life. I think I need to slap him in the face with something serious. I think it’s about time to serve up a nice helping of child support papers.
I did not make this baby on my own, but everyday, thats exactly what it feels like. Like I impregnated myself. Like he’s only made up of me. But...
Want to know about my weekend? I'ma tell ya...
Saturday morning was full of snuggles! It was the cutest thing ever, we seriously just layed there and cuddled and I, of course took advantage of the sunlight beeming through the window to take a few pics of him.
I had to baby sit my 2 year old brother so he came over and they played and then they ate and then they napped.
About 3, we met up with a friend. For her birthday, she wanted to jump...
ladyofleisuredc liked your post: House Guest
You know I’m waiting on your input, right…….?
House Guest
I just moved into this place the middle of December, so I’ve only been there for a month - exactly.
At first my brother was staying with me and then Tino (baby daddy). Slowly, my brother screwed me over and got kicked out and Tino isnt too far behind him.
Tino’s sister just called me, she needs a place to stay. She got into a huge fight with her room mate (the girl slept with her man...
Step One: Love yourself
I get it now. I do not love myself. If I loved myself I would not have settled. I would have respected myself enough not to settle. If I loved myself, I would not dwell on someone who isn’t even thinking about me. I wouldn’t stress over them, I’d be focused on my. If I loved me then I would have allowed that one, yeah that one, to love me. I would have welcomed him in instead of...
I just sit and stare up at the heavens yelling “why”.
“I want you to tell me I’m beautiful, randomly give me flowers, send me cute text...”
– (via amygomez)
Baby Daddy has a facebook
And its already makin me sick to my stomach. Like I could litteraly get up and take a shit right now.
I don't miss him
I miss the idea of him.
I miss the fantasy in my head of a man and woman raising their family, together.
I miss the shared dutys and responsibilities of everyday things.
I miss the kisses and the hugs and the love in the air.
but lets me honest. I’ve never really had any of that and all that I am truly missing is the idea of it all.
I know that one day I will have that…
I wish I...
You have so much to look forward to.
dailypeptalk:
Pep Talk: Your life is an exciting series of moments, each unique. Every one of them has the potential to bring you joy. As you savor the present, remember, this is just the beginning.
Today remind yourself: I have so much to look forward to.
When asked why he can’t or doesn’t want to be there for his son he comes back with
“something is wrong with me, I need a check and some meds.”
That’s a really bad excuse.
“I can’t deal with the baby baby”
No matter what stage of life he is in he will always be your son and you have to deal with it all. You can’t just choose which time frame...
I don't want people to do something that they...
That’s why I hate asking people for shit. I don’t want them to feel obligated to say yes, even when I say “tell me the truth” I dont feel like they do.
This childcare thing is become more dificult then I thought (gosh if its not one thing, its another)
I think I just might stay home tomorrow and try to figure this whole thing out….
OMG
Can somebody please remind me to finish up my grandma’s wedding video. I’m going to strangle her if she ask me about it one more time and she’s going to hack me to pieces if I don’t get it done! lol
I wonder if my boss thinks I'm a bitch.
I guess sometimes I can be sweet but she has definitly seen that other side of me!
I'm going out tonight!
I was hesitant at first. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to or not. I was invited to a show… kinda like a min concert by my ex. Yea, he’s a rapper. Kinda. But … whatever.
I was never really into his music but I was just going to do it just to get out for a night and make my baby daddy wonder… I bet he wont even care. ahaha
The one bummer will be that I think...
Lets talk money - moula - deniro for a minute.
I was informed last night while picking up my child form day care that I would no longer be able to pay the discounted price corporate had originally agreed to. Because the babies classroom is getting full, which would mean they have to hire another teacher, my fee has to go up.
The normal fee for a baby Jasiah’s age to attend that day care is $160 a week. Because there were many spots free...
None
Between Tumbling and Facebooking and getting called away from my normal daily duties… I’m not getting ANY work done!
I think we need to work a little harder on having...
Birthday sex could have possibly knocked me up….
ladyofleisuredc asked: I love that last line- There is a reason for EVERYTHING, its getting to the reason thats hard..
Thought for you.
Imagine you as a mother, stay out all night, no one knows where, you don't care for you child and you don't have a job, heck you don't even have a home. Imagine what child services or society would think of you?
An unfit mother...
Thought for you.
Imagine you as a mother, stay out all night, no one knows where, you don't care for you child and you don't have a job, heck you don't even have a home. Imagine what child services or society would think of you?
An unfit mother...
The letter to daddy
I remember, back when I was pregnant we had a talk. We must have been mad at each other prior to this car ride because all I remember is we didn’t talk at all the whole way to your aunts house. As soon as we pull up you decide to get off of your chest whatever it is you wanted to say. We sat in that car for a good 10 minutes fogging up the windows with our tears as the rain poured outside...
I've been thinking alot about gambling
Like, a lot. I live in Vegas so I could practically walk down the street to gamble.
I just want to try my luck in a penny machine and maybe, if I can muster up the balls, I’ll try a 5 cent machine.
I’ve been hearing success stories lately and I’m hoping I could be one of them
All I want is a couple hundred.
But then I keep thinking about losing what I do have and REALLY not...
I’ve come up with an ultimatum for this Dad. I can’t take it anymore, and I need to protect myself. I’ll post my letter later. I write letters cuz I’ll think about the shit all day and know exactly what I want to say and then when it comes down to it, I’ve got nothing.
So I HAVE to write stuff down, everything. Or else I’ll forget.
He’s got a long, eye...