February 2012
3 posts
Calling Bullshit.
I really wish I could tell when someone was flat out lying to me. I wish I had that power Sylar stole from some chick (Heroes) where as soon as the words escaped someone lips he’d know right off the bat whether it was the truth or a lie. It’s so hard for me to decipher.
Yesterday, Tino text me the same thing he’s been texting every day, “what are yall doing”. At...
1 tag
I technically got stood up, again.
The first time was when we planned a movie date and then he canceled because somebody close to him died but magically felt better and wanted to meet up when I told him me and my friend we’re going out.
And then yesterday, he was suppose to take me to lunch. Never happened. Never called. nothing. Then I get a text and a phone call at about 9pm saying “Sorry bae, didn’t realize...
I’m trying really hard not to think about it. Not to text. Not to call. But I did call. He didn’t answer. I just want to talk. He seemed senere. Like all he really wants is for us to be okay. And I think I want that to.
January 2012
4 posts
School
There was a page that showed me what book a certain class would want…. I need to find that page.. I can’t find it anywhere… It would help me sooo much!!
Today a son was born.
on Tino’s birthday and I bet they are all thrilled.
I’ve heard that tina went and picked up the baby girl today that the baby was dirty and all of her stuff was dirty and tina still has her. the mom is waiting to move into a place and i guess tina’s just going to keep her.
I don’t think i want to go over there anytime soon but apparently she wants...
I had to reblock myself
OF COURSE I had to unblock myself from their FB to go and be nosey. See if there was anything about these babies or baby mommas on there. There wasn’t. And the shit still hurt. Kinda.
I’m slowly getting over it.
December 2011
9 posts
Just talking it out
And any glimmer of hope that he would do right by his son one day is just gone
I'm just destined to be alone.
Target
Me: one of my new years resolutions is to not have sex unless I’m in a committed relationship
Him: aw man. now I’m gonna be jacking off all the time
Me: Unless you fully commit to me
Him: I can’t do it.
….
Sad we had great potential but it’s
ON TO THE NEXT ONE!
Love
My mom often asks me if I’ve ever been in love. I tell her I don’t know and she tells me that means I haven’t. Have I really never been in love before? I told her that if it meant feeling the way i feel for Jasiah bout someone else, then no, I haven’t. “It’s not like that” she said.
I honestly don’t think that I have. and I don’t know if...
1 tag
You're turning me off
I think I need to back off of this for a little while.
I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but you use to drop everything at the drop of a dime for me. Now, you don’t even check in to see if I’m okay. I asked you for a small favor and you flat out said no, with no hesitation.
That makes me believe you don’t care.
1 tag
We'll call him Target
I feel like you’re trying to be a hard ass now. a bad boy. Stop it. You know thats not you. that’s not who you are. you know you love me and you want me so quit acting like i did 8 years ago. just stop. I’m different. it’s better. we could make it if we try.
1 tag
The awkward moment when
this dude who got at you while having a girlfriend and then you got cussed out by said girlfriend adds you on FB……
I don’t need that drama.
Dear Baby Daddy,
What goes through your mind as they take you away in hand cuffs. Forced into the back seat of a car that is nothing but hard plastic and metal bars. How do you feel? What do you tell yourself? That it was all worth it? Was it?
How many times do you have to go though this before you realize that this may very well become the only life you know if you do not change and do it now? How many days can...
5 tags
Apparently, I'm cold hearted.
Just because I don’t let someone who has shitted on me turn right back around and shit on my again, I am cold hearted.
She tried to list the people I am like that too and then quickly realized the number was only two. And also realized that I’m not like that, in fact, I’m the complete opposite with people who matter, who I love.
I also find another common demoninator (besides...
November 2011
31 posts
More females need to be infatuated by a man with...
They could
fire me right now and I wouldn’t give to shits.
I’d go home and sleep until Saturday.
Why am I doing this… I don’t want to do this.
I’m sick to my stomach and my head because of this!
Bruno Mars - Liquor Store Blues →
Doo-Wops and Hooligans
Loving me some Bruno Mars!
Guess what
I don’t want to do a DAMN thing today! Well, work wise!
What I’d rather be doing is designing my christmas cards
uploading some videos
watching some other videos
1 tag
On November 30th
I will buy myself a camera. Without looking at my account first or paying a bill first. end.of.story.
2 tags
Our relationship started on a "two week" stand. I...
My Thanksgiving
Was just okay. I’m going to blame it on pms but by the end of the night, I was so hurt.
The festivities at the in laws started at 3. I figured it would still be cracking at 6 (that’s how my family gets down anyways) so I went to my sides first and then went there. When I got there, J’s grandma was drunk. Tino came out to the living room where we were and said hi to a sleepy...
Why why why did I have to end up with a fucked up baby daddy? Not all of the men in this family are deadbeats but MINE is! The fuck why?
The awkward moment when your boss catches you on...
deanxtreme:
Visual Reaction:
“i’m so soorrrryyyyyy”
Reaction in your head:
“WHATEVER BITCH! Suck it.”
“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing...”
– (via sc-mommy)
Is it sad that
Im losing all faith in men? Like I dont think any of them are any good and it’ll be waste of time to even find one. Every example I see is a liar or a cheater, even the ones who seem good.
I did it!
I blocked myself from seeing her page and I blocked myself from seeing his new page (which he probably isn’t going to update anyway but in case he does, I’m blocked)
Or course I read the disclaimer that tells you how to unblock but I’m praying I forget it.
When I see his family (this weekend because of a bday party) I’m going to pray he doesn’t go and if/when they...
Of course she made him a page
And I’m just watching as our mutual friend count goes up and I gets no friend requests….
I’d deny it anyway… but still.
Why Why Whyyyyyyyyyyyy
Why is my stomach in knots? My chest pounding???
It’s not even that serious……………
IDK Why I do this to myself.
I always go to his sisters FB to snoop. She didn’t add me and that’s cool. Cuz her shit is public and I can see it all anyway.
First I see a pic of her brother. Not a big deal except she cropped me and Jasiah (her nephew) out. The fuck you tryna do??? Not my man tho right… I don’t care… I don’t care… I don’t care….
Then I scroll down to...
Plus I could just sit back and watch child support deal with that ass
I've decided
There will be no contacting him. None. Ill let him decided when to be a parent, no pressure. But he’s only making it harder on himself
I just wanna cupcake on the phone till the sun...
I love the sound of his voice, it makes me melt… I’m so weird
I haven’t text him tho. I’m pretty proud.
I called him last night so Jasiah could say night night but no answer.
Around 10 he text and asked a question “did you notice that i put the xbox in your trunk”
I was sleep and didnt hear the phone but saw the text in the morning. Instead of texting back “yes” I’m waiting for him to realize I didn’t answer...
Nina, you weren’t supposed to see that…..
id really like to text him and tell him that i miss him and that i want us to hang out later. do guys miss people?
Idk why I can’t just be. Why do I have to think about him, call him. He’s not calling us. What if I’m being niave? Getting caught talking to girls isn’t going to make him stop, just make him be more carful. We’re not even together tho, so I should care too much right.
Then its his lifestyle. People around him are getting killed. You can’t be the big bad bully...
My heart and head stay conflicted.
I know I can do better
but I don’t want to.
Why am I so weak for him?
1 tag
In the middle of that same night, the night he was mad, his phone rang.
I normally don’t care to look at it but it woke me. I ignored it, and then it woke me up again.
I checked it
It was from a girl named Queen.
I proceeded to look through all of his messages and found where he was texting about 3 other girls. He also texted him mom this.
“I rather be on child support then to...
Baby Daddy
Tino was in very good spirits throughout most of the Cali trip. He didn’t cry when I woke him up at 9 in the morning for the Aquarium, He didn’t bitch about being somewhere he didn’t want to be. In fact, it seems as if he had a very very good time.
There was one or two minor set backs:
We had been at Disneyland since 8 am and up since 6:30 everyone was tired and Tino held...
October 2011
26 posts
Watching Heros and
I can’t wait until Hiro learns english. I’m sick of reading the subtitles.
Nevermind
He’s been doing what he does best
smoking and drinking and smoking and drinking and smoking and drinking
He said he was gonna be completely sober for the whole trip. But I highly doubt that. If he doesn’t bring anything with him, I know for sure he’ll have a night run to a local corner store while we are there.
Wanna bet?